if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
someone owes me an orgasm
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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