Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
