naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
