Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
