Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize