all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
