singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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