I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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