I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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I just want to make out with him forever
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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