Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
