one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize