Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
