...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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