my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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