idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
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Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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