Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i will never coherently bang her
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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