So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My dick has a subreddit
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
