I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
