2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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