good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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