Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
