i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
