I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
