hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
