Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
