Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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