So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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