she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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