A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
