So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
