no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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