If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
