if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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