If you die in college, do you die in real life?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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