oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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