Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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