It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
