Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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