Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
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It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Couch. On fire.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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