we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
