We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
