So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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