I just cut my nipple shaving
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
