I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
