He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
