I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
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