I must be too annoying 4 u.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
