Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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