my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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