you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
