Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
