shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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