I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
