ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
