sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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