Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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