Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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